Wednesday, February 6, 2008

In the beginning.


In the beginning, God created Man. Man was lonely, so God created Woman. Woman got tired of watching Man sit around and scratch his balls all day, so she went for a walk. On this walk, Woman runs into Snake. Snake talks Woman into eating this Apple. So, God gets pissed and kicks Man and Woman out of Paradise. Man and Woman end up living living in a trailer on the southside. They make approximately 234,632,134 babies. Man grows beer gut and skullet. Woman grows thunder thighs. Woman takes Man on Springer to reveal that 234,632, 133 of the babies aren't his. Snake walks out from backstage and gives Man the finger. Man throws chair at Snake and Steve has to intervene. Woman screams at Man that maybe if he "did her right" this wouldn't have happened. Man replies that she should try fixing herself up every now and then. Snake stands off to one side and makes pathetic threats. Jerry makes everyone sit down and says he has a suprise that will straighten the whole mess out. Jesus rolls out and tells Man to treat Woman with respect, tells Woman to stop being a "ho", and tells Snake to get a life and find his own woman. Jerry nods approvingly. Man and Woman go back to the southside, and Snake gets a job out of state. Woman gets a job and a makeover, and Man gets a haircut and a BowFlex machine. Man and Woman start to find one another attractive again, and take second honeymoon. Snake gets run over by a jealous husband.